Controversial Censored Paddy's Day Irish Investigation of London's Racist Lord Mayor

Controversial Paddy's Day Irish Investigation of London's Racist Lord Mayor

 international | history and heritage | news report  Saturday March 17, 2012 06:40 by BrianClarkeNUJ - AllVoicesBFClarkeNUJ at gmail dot com Bangtao 3885997 

Paddy's Day American Irish Fenians

Having commissioned an investigation on the Mayor of London Boris Johnson as a result of his insulting anti-Irish remarks and his cancellation of the traditional Saint Patrick's Day dinner in London, the following facts have been unearthed while Boris strongly denies being a child of Thatcher, although a long running paternity investigation called the Savile Inquiry denies having anything to do with a possible cover-up of Jimmy Saville being his real father. The background to the controversy is below.

Fenian Feminists

Having commissioned an investigation on the Mayor of London Boris Johnson as a result of his insulting anti-Irish remarks and his cancellation of the traditional Saint Patrick's Day dinner in London, the following facts have been unearthed while Boris strongly denies being a child of Thatcher, although a long running paternity investigation called the Savile Inquiry denies having anything to do with a possible cover-up of Jimmy Saville being his real father. The background to the controversy is below.

"Meanwhile in London last night Boris was pacing up and down in open-fly readiness for his wet run for Saint Patrick's Day and spurted the vast contents of his outsize bladder high into the air, describing a golden arc from Aldwych in the South to the Caledonian Road in the North visible for miles around, as screaming Irish victims in Kilburn and Cricklewood tumbled from the upper deck of their buses above their head and floated downstream on the rising tide of Borismania pouring from the waterlogged pants of thousands of startled racist bigoted, Tory spectators, their urinary tracts blissfully relaxed by discharging pint after pint of pent-up pints down their sodden legs and into the swirling open urinal that was formerly called the Thames as they practiced their ancestry lineage for Paddy's Day.

To call the annual, self-financing, St Patrick's Day dinner "lefty crap" is both profoundly ill-informed and also an attack on Irish Londoners and their contribution to this city. Irish Londoners came together to celebrate the part they play in the life of London - and Boris Johnson has slapped them in the face. He is out of touch and ignorant of the facts.
"Boris Johnson’s Irish racism is no more acceptable than any other racism Ireland From the Guardian this morning: Over the years a range of individuals and organisations have worked positively in London to tackle myths, ignorance and prejudice about the Irish community. Yet in this week’s New Statesman, Boris Johnsonattacks a major, mainstream, Irish community event, the annual St Patrick’s Day dinner, as “lefty crap”, falsely claiming it was “£20,000 on a dinner at the Dorchester for Sinn Féin”.

The fact is that the annual St Patrick’s Day event was a self-financing community event attended by a wide range of Irish actors, politicians from many parties, community figures and celebrities, including Bob Geldof, the Irish ambassador, TV and radio presenter Dermot O’Leary and actress Pauline McLynn.

When Boris Johnson cancelled the annual St Patrick’s Day dinner in 2009 there was widespread disbelief about his decision. His remarks this week reveal what lay behind that decision. Many Londoners will be disturbed by the mayor of London’s contemptuous remarks about a community which has given, and continues to give, so much to our capital city."
The investigation however revealed that the former 'Jim Will Fix It' star 'used to stay with Mrs Thatcher' at Chequers along with speculation 'that one or both of them went nutz and that Boris birth on Saint Patrick's Day was hushed up'. Obviously Boris did not choose Thatcher as his Mama but why anyone on Planet Earth even Jimmy Saville chose Mrs Thatcher for a dirty weekend, is what political pundits are discussing about the situation.

While Johnson, 47, has not revealed the secrets of his blonde tresses the Irish investigation has revealed that his hatred of Saint Patrick's Day, the Irish, lefty Crap Sinn Fein and his banned Irish dinners at City Hall, is as result of his genes and his real birthday, which remind him of his Irish connection. Having earned the nickname BoJo its believed he inherited this from his real daddy, who jumped at the opportunity for eggnog under the mistletoe with the UK's former Iron Lady.
Johnson while being a bit of a tit, besides insulting the Irish also headbutts Germans in their bollocks while playing charity football also sets fire to his farts, after an unsuccessful colon operation to make it smell like daisies, failed. He also hates the people of Liverpool because he believes they are all chavs like the ethnics! He tried to snort cocaine but sneezed and played the harmonica with his balls instead.

He was suspected of being the biological father of Prince Harry but DNA test proved it to be Irish DNA, hence another motivation to insult the Irish. Boris's primary achievement as Lord Mayor is that London hasn't blown up yet, which has prompted some before the forthcoming May election to shout Go Boris! to which he has replied “The man's a fool. Wait a minute, isn't that me?” a quote from Boris Johnson on the absolute stupidity of Boris Johnson, along with “Oh Boris, you're such a massive twat.” as in everyone in London has to put up with his shit besides the Irish.

However the Eton Rifles say BoJo, former MP for Cloud Cuckoo Land, mayor of Toytown is a jolly good chap. A tit, but a jolly good chap old Boy!. Being the second most powerful politician in Britain, he will probably be the next Prime Minister, where he can intern all the Irish wearing green on Saint Patrick's Day without trial along with the already interned without trial Marian Price. Upper class twat Boris Johnson has expressed his delight privately with the internment of the Irish.

A spokesperson for Boris said "Boris is Boris, bloody good at tennis, can you smell daisies?" while Boris himself said young Brits, "should get off of their lazy butts, accept any job that is offered to them and stop blood-sucking the London County Council dry!" to which everybody replies "Get on your fucking bike you fat, snobby twat!" This Saint Patrick's Day, London will promptly sink into the sea. No-one is quite sure how this will happen but most people believe the theory that somehow Boris either will loose 'lost' the Thames Barrier or just 'break' London. Otherd believe that the Irish will use the Thames as a urinal with their urinary tracts blissfully relaxed by discharging pint after pint of pent-up pints down the bogs in the London Irish bars as a riposte to Borismania and earlier racist attacks flowing into the swirling open urinal that was formerly called the Thames as they practiced their own ancestry lineage for Paddy's Day. Many Irish people that "London under Boris could do with a good wash".

A former resident of Dale Farm has forecast that when Boris is lying on his death bed with congenital syphilis.....the devil will come for his soul as he is, after all, a Tory. The devil will say "I've come to take you to Hell!" - Boris, will reply terrified..."Crikey!, what are you saying?" .... "TO HELL!", shouts the Devil.....with Boris replying "Oh, what a relief for a terrible moment I thought you said HULL!"They even tried to lure me down there into a trap with chants of: "Would you like to take our sisters out for drinks?" and "Boris, please consider coming to visit Humberside, it's such a lovely place and we'd love to see you, you can all stay round ours."

Boris Johnson has secretly also won the role of "The Doctor" for the the latest incarnation of Doctor Who, after he loses the next election in May but he unfortunately has become pre-occupied by a squirrel having sex with a large swan. It is unclear if he has confirmed the role, but an emergency meeting of the UN to discuss the matter has given him the firm support of the US and several key European players, though France remains opposed, believing that Cameron is far more capable in this role.

Boris also plans to run for Mayor of Liverpool when he loses London in May saying "I....I...I..Believe, that, er..the thieving scumbags of Liverpool could use a man like me to...er....to bring Britain back from this torrent of Labour....and my drug....what's my policy on drugs again?" Despite his speech being well-received Boris still lacks the 10% in a recent opinion poll against dead comic Tommy Cooper.

It is believed that Boris will languish this Paddy's Day in a Bacchanalian orgy with his toga as usual strategically parted to enable kneeling football hobbit Joe Cole to administer his usual enthusiastic and skilful fellatio as a relief and escape from the constitutional peasants of London. The investigation is ongoing, we will keep you updated.

Related Link: http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/11731258-cont...mayor

Biggus Diccus Boris of Patricius, “Mayoral culpa, mayoral maxima culpa.”

The competition to be Britain's biggest arsehole has hotted up with the head to head contest between Her Majesty's two most powerful British politicians, who both happen to be Tories, now being joined by a third Tory contender in British Occupied Ireland. Cameron, Her Majesty's Prime minister at Westminster a 22 carat arsehole and Boris Johnson the fellow Tory gormless blond Etonian gonk of a Lord Mayor of London.

Another Tory,  Her Majesty's Secretary of State for British Occupied Ireland, Owen Paterson the UDR Orangeman, catching both up fast with his piss brained idea to bring back  political internment without trial in Ireland, one of the principal factors in starting a a 40 year old war in  the first place. Indeed right now one of its best known victims Marian Price who has been in solitary confinement for over 10 months now has enraged the Irish even further if that were possible. In Downing Street yesterday, British Prime Minister Cameron joked, " I can't promise that Boris Johnson will dye his hair green but you never know he might do, its election year." Something highly unlikely after the London Lord Mayor's remarks referred to the Irish as being, "Lazy and Stupid." 


While London Mayor Boris Johnson has made a half arsed apology of sorts for labeling a St Patrick's Day dinner in London as “lefty crap". Johnson has infuriated the Irish community with his remarks and his apparent apology does not stand up to scrutiny as such, when he said,  “I am profoundly sorry if I have offended any Irish person." adding “I hope that people will see I was making a point about cost cutting.” It is not in fact as the British media say an apology. Irish organisations have pointed out that the annual St Patrick's day events have always been self-financing by the entire Irish community.

Mr Johnson who has written to the Irish Cultural Centre in Hammersmith to clarify his position, stating, “I regret any unintended offence that I may have given.” Later, Mr Johnson, a classical scholar of Eton like Cameron, added Latin “Mayoral culpa, mayoral maxima culpa.” The Lord Mayor's election is on May 3 against former Lord Mayor, a good friend of Ireland both in good times and bad, Ken Livingstone.

As the Lord Mayor of London, Mr Johnson is the second most powerful politician in Britain has not however made any sort of an effort to explain other remarks made about the Irish, Irish community leader Shelagh O'Connor said the Mayor's comments were extremely disrespectful, “They reflect an era that we thought had passed and an era when Irish people in London faced discrimination and were the butt of jokes. We deserve more respect. It makes me very angry and I feel Boris should apologise,” she said.

Christine Quigley, a candidate for the coming London Assembly elections, said the Johnson’s comments were baseless.“Boris’s lazy and stupid remark about the Irish are utterly factually wrong. The annual St Patrick’s Day event was always self-financing." 


Johnson's Latin “Mayoral culpa, mayoral maxima culpa.” translates as Fault Mayoral, mayoral maximum fault but then like chum Cameron's earlier apparent apology for his Eton Rifles army murdering 13 innocent civilians on Bloody Sunday in Derry, they both might be viewed as sincere, if accompanied by making amends, as is the case with all sincere apologies, with an undertaking of actions to prevent it ever happening again. This however is highly unlikely with his colleague Secretary of Ste for Occupied Ireland overruling a court order for the release of Marian Price and a previous royal pardon for her release almost 40 years ago. 

Odious wartime internment without trial of former Irish political prisoners, aside from being an acknowledgement of the failure of their much touted peace process, breaks the terms of the so called Bad Friday agreement and it guarantees the start of another 40 year war in Ireland, as internment without trial was a primary cause of war last time. Cameron, Johnson and Paterson's use politician's words, that the long suffering Irish, have long associated with perfidious Albion actions, rather than their shallow words hardly dry on the paper of their broken agreements in Ireland.

The last word to citybloke in the Belfast Telegraph tonight : "Like a lot of so called 'intellectuals' Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson lacks common sense. His half-hearted apology no doubt was made with tongue in cheek. We all know he attended Eton and studied 'Classics' at Oxford and doesn't he love to remind us all at every possible occasion!"