God enlists Wright & Obama in War on Terror

God enlists Wright & Obama in War on Terror
Titanic struggle for supremacy
by How Tenji on the road to perdition

George Bush is perhaps one of the most modest of world leaders. Where other heads of state behave as if they are God, George is content merely to speak with his creator. Alas, a direct line to the Almighty is not the exclusive preserve of American presidents and others have also been praying leaving our heavenly father in something of a dilemma.

God: Please kick Muslim assBush, in an address to the people of the USA, revealed for the first time the astonishing scope of the War on Terror™. What has hitherto been regarded as a bit of a scrap between a military super-power and some brown people with tea-towels on their heads, has now been revealed as only the earthly manifestation of a greater battle between supreme beings.

Following the attacks of 9/11 Franklin Graham, one of the President's religious advisors, gave this statement: "We're not attacking Islam but Islam has attacked us. The God of Islam is not the same God. He's not the son of God of the Christian or Judeo-Christian faith. It's a different God, and I believe Islam is a very evil and wicked religion."

The president revealed to a jubilant nation that whilst the US armed forces were kicking ass in Afghanistan and Iraq the Almighty was taking care of the inferior God of Islam; the self-styled Allah.

"The people of this great country prayed to the Almighty that he would, in his infinite mercy, kick some Muslim ass," said a prayerful president in a broadcast to the nation last night. He continued: "When the two towers collapsed I implorated our Heavenly Father and asked for his help. But he is a democratic god and he refused to act without a clear mandate. Only when a majority of those praying were asking for divine retribution did he visit his wrath upon our enemies."

The President went on to explain: "The Asian tsunami was a direct response to the attacks of 9/11. As sure as if it were a holy missile fired from a divine battleship that flood which killed 200,000 Muslims and other heathens was part of America's War on Terror™. Let us be in no doubt that the Lord sent this sign upon the very eve of the birthday of the Prince of Peace as a clear message to all mankind not to mess with Uncle Sam."

Warming to his subject, the President went on to explain that Hurricane Katrina and the devastation of New Orleans was the result of a Muslim counter-attack: "Compared to the power of Our Lord in his tsunamic judgement this attack upon the Christian USA was as nothing. But we must ask why He allowed this evil to befall us, His chosen nation? The answer, my fellow Americans, is that He was displeased with the immorality that was so widespread in that city. Like a latter-day Sodom He has allowed Allah to damage us as a warning."

Onlookers were visibly shaken by this news and spontaneously began praying for forgiveness, a strengthening of the US dollar and the continued rise of the Dow Jones. President Bush interrupted their worship to explain that he had personally spoken to the God of ages and together they had secretly planned a counter-attack.

"The Pakistan earthquake was his divine response to my prayers," said a pious and humble George Bush. "When our god smites, you stay smitten." He concluded to a chorus of cheers and cries of "Amen to that brother".

Senior US army assault chaplains are meeting to plan the USA's next step. Franklin Graham, an outspoken critic of pretty much everything, drew the line at adding nail bombs to parcels in the annual "Operation Christmas Child". He is said to have rejected the proposal on the grounds that although the Muslims and Hindus were clearly "Bound by Satan's power" they needed to be shown the mercy and compassion at the centre of Christian teaching. As a result, the US plans to link donation of all future aid to victims of natural disasters to a program of compulsory religious instruction to be organized by the Reverend Graham.

Religious leaders and meteorologists have been in prolonged discussions to try to establish whether hurricane Rita and recent tornadoes in the mid-west are of natural or super-natural origin. The recent cold snap in the UK is not thought to be suspicious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdj5yye_G80

Patrick's Day reprieve for BBC

Irish police were celebrating St. Patricks day, today after grilling and interrrogating BBC suspects, involved with Real IRA training exercise.

Gardai, the official name for the Irish police, arrested some BBC journalists over the weekend, who it is believed were part of a Real Irish Republican Army naval exercise. It is believed the BBC journalists may have participated in the paramilitary training exercise, in County Donegal in the Irish republic. There is speculation that the BBC journalists may have also have travelled to Rockall, an island off the coast of Donegal, as part of an elaborate naval republican miltary exercise.

The four along with seven other accused Real IRA volunteers, were arrested in Donegal, the northwestern county which borders the north eastern part of Ireland, or the six counties, still occupied by the British army in barracks there. The arrests are part of an investigation into paramilitary activity, the police said.

In a statement the police said, a further four BBC journalists had been arrested and detained under the Offences Against the State Act. The BBC public broadcaster admitted its journalists were among the 11 real IRA arrested. It is still not clear, whether they will be accused of IRA membership.

"The four journalists normally work on BBC current affairs programmes and it is beleved they had full editorial clearance from the BBC " the British corporation admitted on its news.bbc.co.uk website.

"A spokesperson said the police were fully aware that they were also BBC journalists," the BBC admitted. It is still not clear if they were in disguise.

The IRA campaign, in which more than 3,600 were killed in three decades, had subsided, after a power-sharing executive was installed last year. But police in the occupied 6 counties warned recently of stepped up operations by the Real IRA.

The four BBC journalists along with seven other IRA men arrested, are being questioned by the police in three separate police stations, in the border county of Donegal, beside the island of Rockall. The British also dispute ownership of this Irish island, where there are believed to be large deposits of gas. The BBC suspects were still being held on St Patrick's eve but were released on compassionate grounds for the Irish holiday. Several of the undercover Gardai, were observed today celebrating the arrests, in local bars.

Seven of the arrests were made on Saturday and a further four yesterday. Although the BBC released only limited details, it is admitted they were with the Real IRA, though it is not clear what exactly their status was. A statement from the BBC said: "They had full authorisation". The Real IRA were fully aware they also worked for the BBC.
Irish police said the arrests were part of "ongoing investigations into paramilitary activity".

BBC journalists are normally restricted by detailed guidelines, from involvement with or membership of military organisations, such as the Real IRA, though some date from heated controversies, arising from censorship of the IRA in the 70s.

The Real IRA in sporadic miltary activities since the split, with some members who went off and joined the PSNI, a british paramiltary police force. The IRA include a number of shootings which seriously wounded several paramiltary police officers.
A considerable number of Real IRA personnel have been jailed. The recent shootings of the british occupying para-police, suggest they have staged a recovery.

Last month increased measures such as vehicle checkpoints by the para-police, have made a reappearance in parts of the northern occupied six counties of Ireland. In a recent newspaper interview, the Real IRA announced it is forcing British troops back on to the streets out of their barracks, into public view as legitimate targets. A republican spokesperson said: "We believe the British soldiers will be brought back onto the streets, to bolster these new para-cops under the new name of the PSNI. This will shatter the facade, that the British presence has gone and normality reigns."

Police sources recently described the Real IRA as "extremely dangerous".

Adolph Hitler Didn't Smoke on Paddy's Day

Adolf Hitler Didn't smoke on Paddy's Day


The Rockall Times supports Ireland's brave smoking ban
by our woman on the wagon, Miranda Givings

There are those who would claim that our beloved land is tonight
under the threat from a wave of Puritanism so virulent that it is
nothing short of a fatwa, or even a jihad, possibly. At the very least
it's a mini Crusade: a sort of long weekend break of a Holy War but
without Richard the Lionheart.

This crusade of which we speak is, of course, the increasing
tendency towards non-smoking, which — at its most fanatical — leans
towards a literal anti-smoking interpretation of non-smoking. Ireland
has fallen, the panic-mongers say, and it can only be a matter of time
before beloved Albion also succumbs to an age of darkness and despair.

Perhaps you are among those who are reduced to tears by the thought
of the smokeless celidh, the nicotine-free craic and the Dublin theme
bar deserted save a few disconsolate members of the Salvation Army,
supping white cranberry juice and half-heartedly shaking their
tambourines.

Perhaps you are, but have you ever thought about the human cost of
smoking? The 5,000 innocent lives snuffed out each and every year by
other peoples' second-hand toxins?

The anti-smoking lobby tell us that one of these innocent souls dies
in agony every 11 minutes. We'll take their word for that if they take
our word that every 11.2 minutes someone, somewhere, is killed on a
bicycle. Co-incidence? We think not.

While we agree that the terrible human cost of smoking must be addressed, we at the same time demand that all risks to our kiddies' futures be treated equally seriously.

One fervent public health spokescrusader who we didn't actually
contact but who insisted on coming to our offices and shouting loudly
through the letterbox confirmed that smoking-related diseases will in
future be treated at the smoker's own expense. That sounds fair enough
to us. Why should the non-smoker pay? After all, do smokers pay extra
tax to inflict their filthy habit on the rest of us? No.

Ask yourself this: Do kiddie-fiddlers get free board and lodging and
psychiatric treatment at our expense? No they bloody well don't. Making
fag addicts stump up in cash, in advance, for cancer treatment is
exactly the sort of hands-on, direct action we like here at The Rockall Times.
And while we're about it, let's extend this punitive plan. Fat people
would be a good start. We know that the obese deliberately stuff
themselves with crisps, chips, chocolate and oven-ready microwaveable
pizzas so that they can get themselves a fast-track, heart-attack
driven passport to intensive care easy street. Let the fat bastards pay
for their own coronary bypasses.

Obesity causes huge health problems and costs tasty-looking thin
birds like me a fortune in medical insurance. Why don't you fat, ugly
women stop filling your faces with fish suppers and get some bloody
exercise? Or try walking the rug-rats to school instead of driving them
there in your smelly, diesel MPVs? Better still, jog to school and
smoke a couple of fags on the way. That should shed a few pounds.

On the other hand, we were told that jogging can cause knee and
ankle problems, so it seems only fair that conscientious pavement
pounders should pay for any knee and foot repairs themselves. Dangerous
sports are another area long overdue for legislation. Why should you or
I pay for a hip replacement for some rich stockbroker who's fallen base
over apex in a Piste-related accident in Klosters? According to a
recent survey conducted by the Fitter Britain Association,
sports-related injuries cost the UK £106,437,000 every year and result
in roughly 129,437.28 hospital admissions every week. Jesus H. Christ.
And they expect us to pay for that?

After kicking the sports fraternity into touch, we suggest the
Government tackles the thorny problem of history. It's criminally
irresponsible to allow monsters like Winston Churchill to appear in
books. Not only did he chain-smoke obscenely large cigars, he drank
huge amounts of alcohol, was grossly overweight, and never exercised.
And we call this a national hero? Is this any kind of example
to be setting our kids? No, it isn't, so it's out with the airbrush for
Winnie and enter stage right health-conscious Aryan Adolf Hitler. We
can think of no better example of responsible and considerate behaviour
than the slim, non-smoking, teetotal vegetarian with his legendary love
of animals. His personal habits should be an example to us all and his
life a reminder of what a truly healthy lifestyle can achieve.
Remember: Adolf Hitler didn't smoke.

But perhaps the worst example of inconsiderate, self-destructive
behaviour that threatens the health of our nation is the increasing
number of middle-aged men suffering heart attacks during the monthly
execution of their conjugal rights. This must be looked at urgently. If
it's not distasteful enough the idea of lard-arsed proto-wrinklies
poking their shrivelled wives, think about the poor paramedics who have
to go in a clear up the mess. And, once again, it's us who foot the
bill.

Sunbathing is another activity which cannot be allowed to continue;
the skin cancer risk is simply too great. The list goes on, but to
summarise, just imagine this: a middle-aged fat bloke enjoying a
drunken post-coital cigar whilst skiing naked down a sun-kissed piste en route to a tour of the lard factory. Had enough? Us too — it makes our blood boil.

Implementing such sweeping improvements in the health of our
citizens might run into some resistance, but we are confident that —
just as the appointment of a drugs "czar" several years back has
practically wiped out the use of illegal substances — persuading the
nation to voluntarily give up smoking, eating, drinking, skiing,
sunbathing and sex should not prove insurmountable. Especially when
backed by legislation, fines and imprisonment. Forward with Britain.

More of Miranda Givings' campaigning journalism can be found here.

Anniversaries of Mai Lai Massacre and Iraq invasion

Anniversaries of Mai Lai Massacre and Iraq Invasion


I was surprised to find this in the BBC today. There are great reporters working for the BBC but the editors seldom allow material such as this, Israel wants the BBC closed down. The article explains well, the mentality behind massacres at Mai Lai in the Vietnam war and the Haditha massacre, after the Iraq invasion. Strangely the first massacre created an outcry worldide, at that time, today the American media couldn't care less, about covering their war crimes or be bothered to cover the massacres, in Iraq properly. They have also cultivated a care less culture in our modern world to such atrocities.


Perhaps its because the American media has been flooded by CIA undercover agents, working for the media. Since the troubles in Ireland, our media in Ireland, has been inundated with British secret service agents, writing unadulterated black propaganda, in a revision of our history and to potray the liberation struggle, as simply sectarian. The sectarianism as has happened Iraq, is stirred up by the invaders as counter insurgency tactics. These war crimes of creating sectarianism or divide and conquer which the British used all over the world and taught the Americans has now murdered more than
1,185,800 children, women and men in Iraq since the illegal invasion. The sectarian tactics used , whether racist, religous or sexist are taught by the British to the US, after their years of experience with colonial war crimes in the past.


All of this coincides with the assasination of hundreds of honest real journalist worldwide in the last few years, often by hired assassins of the secret services. Anyway the 15th of March, was the anniversary, let us hope that there are still a few human beings left, who are not brainwashed, who still have empathy for the victime of our modern day Holocaust, committed daily by the US government, with more that 3 trillion tax dollars of their citizens money. Their country is almost bankrupt from this madness. They have to pay the Sunni insurgents to stop shooting at them, so that they can potray to their people before the election, that things are getting better ! Like Ireland, this makes young people angry, who then take up arms to defend their families. Is it any wonder young people from the middle-east are so angry about these massacres, being treated as second class citizens in their own country, or the Nuclear weapons the US has given Israel, a tiny rogue state, to bully their neighbours, and threaten their failies withextinction.


It is rather strange that the western media will not try to find the answers, as to why thousands of young people are committng suicide, using their bodies as weapons in the middle-east, when they witness these massacres and injustice. Woiuld you be angry, if your people were murdered and treated like this ? The media meantime controlled by the CIA, M15, M16, are brainwashing us into believing, all of these war crimes and torture are ok !. I will probably be censored soon, as I was already, in the British media, for writing this material. My Lai: Legacy of a massacre

By Celina Dunlop


Forty years on, and "My Lai" is synonymous with "massacre".

Women and children in My Lai, Vietnam, shortly before they were killed by US soldiers
504 people were killed by US soldiers in the My Lai massacre

The killing of Iraqi civilians at Haditha has often been referred to as a modern-day My Lai.

The name is shorthand for slaughter of the defenceless, the benchmark of American wartime atrocity.

The murders of 504 men, women, children and babies happened in a northerly province of South Vietnam on 16 March 1968.

It proved to be a turning point for public opinion about the Vietnam War.

Yet, most of what we know about the event comes from a single, widely publicised court martial in 1970-71.

A young Lieutenant - William Calley - in Charlie Company was tried and
convicted of murdering 22 "oriental human beings" in My Lai on that
sunny morning in 1968.

Forgotten tapes

Media attention on Lt Calley's trial was extensive and the glare of publicity so bright it hid the wider, more awful truth.

Before that trial got under way, the United States army had, behind
closed doors, completed an investigation of its own into the events at
My Lai, and specifically into the possibility that those in authority
had deliberately covered up a massacre.

Convened on 1 December 1969 in the basement of the Pentagon, The
Department of the Army Review of the Preliminary Investigations into
The My Lai Incident, known in abbreviated form as The Peers Inquiry,
was chaired by Lt Gen William 'Ray' Peers.

In just 14 weeks, the Peers Inquiry conducted a comprehensive and wide-ranging investigation into the events of 16 March.

More than 400 witnesses were interviewed, and their testimony was tape-recorded.

When the inquiry concluded on 15 March 1970, those recordings were boxed-up, stored and forgotten.



Bodies of women and children lie in the road leading to the village of My Lai, following the massacre


That day it was just a massacre. Just plain right out, wiping out people

Leonard Gonzales
Testimony to the Peers Inquiry

In 1987, they were shipped to the US National Archives, as one
small portion of a massive group of records of US Army activities in
Vietnam.

There they remained hidden, never catalogued, never investigated, never uncovered - until last year.

I spent many months trying to track down the tapes.

Again and again, I was told they did not exist, but after much
persistence, 48 hours of recordings from the key witnesses were
declassified and made available to me.

And on 15 March, on the eve of the 40th anniversary of the massacre,
some of the most powerful testimony will be broadcast for the first
time, on the Archive Hour on BBC Radio 4.

Some of the interviewees' statements reveal the mentality of the soldiers involved in the massacre.

"I would say that most people in our company didn't consider the
Vietnamese human... A guy would just grab one of the girls there and in
one or two incidents they shot the girls when they got done," said
Dennis Bunning.

"That day it was just a massacre. Just plain right out, wiping out people," said Leonard Gonzales.

"Kill everything"

The wider, more awful truth that Gen Peers uncovered, was that
this was an illegal operation, planned and co-ordinated at Task Force
level by Lt Col Frank Barker.

It wiped out not one but three villages: My Lai, Binh Tay and My Khe.

And not one, but two companies were involved: Bravo and Charlie.

Both of these companies were given the same briefing by their
respective commanding officers, permitting them "to kill everything and
anything."

"It's not just the people of Task Force Barker that are on trial...
It's the Army, it's you and it's me... and it includes our country and
our people in the eyes of the world," said Gen Peers, during his
investigation.

He concluded that 30 senior officers had been negligent in their duty.

After the inquiry, 14 officers were charged with crimes.

Ha Thi Quy, a survivor and witness of the 1968 My Lai massacre, pictured here in September 2007
Ha Thi Quy, a survivor of the massacre, remembers the dead

But the only participant convicted of anything at My Lai was Lt William Calley.

Gen Peers also proposed new methods of training soldiers,
guidelines for the treatment of civilians in wartime and new army
leadership criteria.

His recommendations still influence today's army training manuals.

"The My Lai Tapes" are a record not only of atrocity writ large but also of heroism.

They are a record of how war can bring out not only the worst but also the best in people.

Above all they are a record of lessons learned 40 years ago, in My Lai,
Binh Tay and My Khe - lessons that should not be forgotten.

Celina Dunlop is picture editor of the Economist. The Archive Hour:
The My Lai Tapes will be broadcast on BBC Radio 4 at 2000 GMT on
Saturday, 15 March, 2008. You can also listen online for seven days after that at Radio 4's Listen again page.

Vietnam Anger at Spitzer Iraq Slur

Deeply insulting to the Vietnamese people

The Vietnamese foreign minister last night expressed anger at reports in the Canadian media (US media inbed with Bush) that Iraq had degenerated into "another Vietnam".

Nguyen Tse Nien, speaking to one reporter who is still not inbed, expressed his wish to make it absolutely clear that the comparison to Iraq was "deeply hurtful to the heroic Vietnamese people" who had "struggled valiently to throw off the yoke of US imperialism" while maintaining a "healthy Indo-Chinese sense of humour".

Nien challenged: "Answer me this: how many Sunni Muslim stand-up comedians can you name? Exactly. Have you heard the one about the Cambodian, the Laotian and the Vietnamese? Well, all three of them are in a tunnel complex outside Saigon when a GI comes through the entrance and he says to the Laotian, 'If you spare my life, I'll give you three water buffalo' and to the Cambodian, he says 'If you spare my life, I'll give you five water buffalo' and to the Vietnamese he says 'If you spare my life, I'll give you seven water buffalo and suck up to you long time, ten dollar'. Jaysus, that always cracks me up."

Comedy analysts confirmed Nien's assertion that Iraq lacks the necessary credentials to stand comparison with fun-loving Vietnam. One expert told us: "The Brits did try an open-mike stand-up club in Basra following Sadaam's overthrow, but on the first night some Sunni bloke gets up and says 'I'm not saying my Mother in law's fat, right...' and then blows himself up before delivering the punchline. I tell you, they need to work on their delivery."

Back in Ho Chi Minh City, meanwhile, Nien underlined another fundamental difference between the two countries. "It always pisses me off when I hear US Vietnam vets and winter soldiers, banging on about their nightmare wartime experiences," he explained. "They spend a couple of hours dropping napalm bombs on some kids and rice farmers in a village and then it's back to the whorehouse for a bottle of JD and a night banging virgins for five bucks a pop. I don't suppose there are many pole-dancing clubs in Baghdad offering thirteen-year-old girls to anyone with an M-16 and a crewcut, just a few frat boys I guess. Hasn't this Spitzer guy heard of Vietnam ? Why hasn't the pentagon or those guys on Wall Street told him about outsourcing ?"

In Baghdad, the average GI would agree. "I did seven months in 'Nam and spent most of 'em gang-banging whores, daughters of rice farmers, ay buddy, at five dollars a pop. This Spitzer guy was paying two thousand and the FBI were wiretapping him, sounds more like one of the innocent kids or payback to me ?" sighed one combat-hardened frontline colonel." Who do these hypocrites think they are kiddin ? Jaysus, you've got more chance of scoring in a convent full of octogenarian dykes than getting your rocks off here. Anyway all the virgins have popped it in Fallujah now, with all that white powder !. I tell you, if the guys don't get some tight pussy action pretty soon I reckon there'll be a My Lai-style massacre going down, if there 's any of em left and no messin'.

In conclusion, however, Nien did concede one direct parallel between Vietnam and Iraq: "The US is going to get its born again, virgin, Christian, ass whupped," he chuckled.

FBI seizes Irishman in Prostitution Ring

Criminal Irishman safely behind bars

US intelligence bureau the FBI has confirmed that it is holding an Irish citizen suspected of a range of offences including sexual solicitation, sexual extortion, lewd sexual conduct and cunnilingus.

Patrick Murphy has so far been held for 72 hours without access to relatives, his family or a lawyer, but FBI sources have stressed that this is for reasons of state security, given that Murphy is " the second most dangerous criminal in New York".

A Bureau spokesman this morning confirmed that, despite continual grilling, Murphy had so far refused to speak. "He's one tough customer, that's for sure," noted the grim-faced G-man. "But he'll break eventually, they always do."

The FBI has also countered claims that they are holding the wrong individual. "Nope, the name on the computer matches the name on his passport," asserted an intelligence officer in mirrored sunglasses. "Absolutely no doubt about it."

Murphy is charged with soliciting an escort who had been with him in the Mayflower hotel. He allegedly then used cash from an ATM, in an elaborate ruse to bribe the escort for sexual favours. It is believed he was attempting to build a vast criminal empire of prostitution. Agents claim, that he abused one of their associates in 1999 for "not cleaning the toilet seat after him", when he visited New York.

However, Murphy"s distraught mother is convinced that this is a case of mistaken identity. His hysterical mother told: reporters "There's no way he did all the things they say he did. How could he? He's only nine months old."

While FBI interrogators concede that their suspect's silence may be due in part to his tender years, they are sticking to their belief that little Patrick is their man. It is believed the escorts phone was wiretapped by the FBI on another matter, at the Mayfair Hotel and the lewd suggestive evidence has been taped.

"I'll say it again," gasped an exasperated Fed. "The man we're looking for has the same name as the person we are holding. Therefore they are the same person. And to suggest that this guy is not capable of running a brutal criminal regime is to ignore the facts. Patrick Murphy is the name of the man who laundered more than $65 billion with one of the most respectable firms trading on the New York stock exchange last year. The firm was almost put out of business. Patrick Murphy is the name of the infant we are holding. End of story."

When it was suggested to the FBI that they were illegally using anti-terror legislation to hold the infant, they countered that their records show, that a Patrick Murphy also visited Fallujah back in 1999 and may be carrying chemical agents once used by Saddam Hussein.

If convicted, Murphy faces 100,000 years in jail without hope of parole.