MARTIN McGuinness is “a traitor” for meeting the Queen, a rally of republican hardliners in south Armagh was yesterday told.
Ex-Provisional IRA founder Laurence O’Neill denounced Mr McGuinness as “a Judas” and said he should hang his head in shame for meeting the Queen while Northern Ireland remained under British rule.
Mr O’Neill was addressing a commemoration yesterday in Crossmaglen for local IRA bomb-maker, Sean O’Callaghan, who died eight years ago.
Around 300 people attended the rally including leading Lurgan republican Colin Duffy, ex-Sinn Fein MLA and Newry councillor Davy Hyland, Garvaghy Road residents’ spokesman Breandan MacCionnaith and former Tyrone IRA leaders.
Ex-IRA hunger-strikers Tommy McKearney and Gerard Hodgins were also present.
A British Army spotter plane hovered overhead throughout the rally which was held at a controversial IRA monument that Sinn Fein denies is a political memorial.
The party claims the statue (pictured) in the centre of the village is “a tourist attraction” and is supporting an application for a grant of up to £30,000 of taxpayers’ money for its refurbishment, something that unionists and victims of terrorism have opposed.
Laurence O’Neill from Co Antrim said the Queen was “commander-in-chief” of a British army that had killed republicans in Ireland for decades.
Mr McGuinness – who two years ago denounced dissident republicans as “traitors to the island of Ireland” – was himself denounced by O’Neill as a traitor for “shaking the paw of the Queen of England as a guarantee that will see her dream come true of Ireland remaining a cosy, peaceful colony”.
“We are here today because we are republicans of the original school, not the kind that have supped the soup and would try to justify their treachery,” he said.
Mr O’Neill claimed republican grassroots had been “conned, betrayed, sold down the river and told ‘not a bullet, not an ounce’”.
He said: “Shame on those who sold us out. We were told the lie that the war was at a stalemate — yet the IRA had 20 tons of weaponry in bunkers all over Ireland.”
The rally was also addressed by former Sinn Fein MLA Pat McNamee and former party representative Jim McAllister.
Mr McNamee said: “Don’t tell us that securing the current political arrangements in the North was what the republican struggle was about.
“Don’t tell us that a better partition is what people suffered and died for.
“Sean O’Callaghan gave the best years of his life for an independent 32-county republic. He wouldn’t be attending the garden party or any other Royal meeting this week.”
The British corporate media ramble on about how progressive the visits of Elizabeth Windsor and her handshake with Martin McGuinness are, presented as the climax of peace and reconciliation portraying those who disagree as malcontents stuck in the past.British royalty and its history in Ireland is both a crime and an insult and a time to protest.
Ireland was Britain’s first colony and when the Irish resist there is repression. Britain imposed its oppressive regimes and sectarian division by force and duplicity. It was never about their portrayal of resistance as religious or ethnic but colonialism, with Britain dominating the Irish economy while keeping colonial Ireland in poverty.
The most extreme example being the Irish holocaust or what is generally known as the famine in 1845. The Potato crop failed causing the death of millions in an ethnic cleansing exercise by the British in the midst of prime quality food being exported to Britain, to support its war efforts clearing the land of more than 6 million peasants in abject poverty. They would not have starved if the food they’d grown had not under armed guard been exported to Britain.
Queen Victoria visited Ireland just at the end of their holocaust in 1849, putting on a royal display of banquets and celebration, while there was mass starvation all about her. The forthcoming royal visit and secret handshake with a former IRA Chief of Staff, despite recent massacres by her British troops still garrisoned in Ireland. Royal visits rubber stamp a wealthy establishment of enablers in an attempt to cower people to British rule.
The nationalist revolution during British difficulties tied to its crumbling Empire and the First World War, created their temporary solution to split Ireland in two states despite an overwhelming vote for all of the island's independence. With repression enforcing the arrangement, the British calculated fostering a return of their rule to all of the island.While McGuinness and his former republicans profess to convert a majority to Irish unity, the reality is, that the British with its superior media outlets like the BBC world service and constant barrage of royal propaganda, are converting the island to a return to the Commonwealth with the aid of McGuineess's collaborators.
The current hype around a secret handshake with the queen, hiding the reality of McGuinness on his knees, bowing to his nominal head of British forces, that murdered hundreds of civil rights marchers in cold blood on Bloody Sunday in Derry and defenceless civilians in places like Ballymurphy in 1972 is a distraction from a repressive reality. Yes a British Prime Minister muttered words meant t be an apology for Derry but the fact is, that a sincere apology involves restitution and ensuring the savagery is not repeated, i.e removing the British army permanently from the island, with both McGuinness and his queen making complete apologies for their personal part in their crimes against Irish humanity. The queen is the head of the British armed forces who still make war for the materialism of imperialism.
The Rise and Fall of the British Empire, enabling the American one to follow, portrayed with glorious accounts about piracy in India or the Victorian imperial mentality, through two world wars by British sponsored authors are often strangely silent on Britain's first and most difficult colony, Ireland. Its indefinite occupation or its other examples in places like Egypt, ignore the bitter legacy it left everywhere it went, leading up to the 1956 Suez Crisis, which really marked America inheriting British imperialism. Neither having any place in a world order, that claims an attempt moving towards greater and wider democracy.
Some more poo sucking of Lizzie Dingdong with the ultimate art of arse licking and brown nosing by Lord Muck of Londonderry
Lord Muck noticed the queen starting to get up off the toilet hole, putting her whole weight on top of the slave she was using for a footrest, which resulted in a cry of pain. Like the practiced arselicker royal that he had become, he was terrified of the queen, not daring to say anything to her. She was obviously ready to have her arse licked clean, as she leaned over in front of him, having moved her dirty arse until he could reach her dirty arsehole with his tongue. Even Lord Muck was shocked at how bad her smell was and he was overwhelmed with a feeling, to pull his tongue away from such a degrading job but he was after all despite his title no more than a pathetic slave to the royal household.
He started to lick around her outer arsehole first, making sure he licked every arsebiscuit of foul tasting shite around it, as he would be in serious trouble if his gobshite failed to clean the queen properly.He licked as rapidly as he was able while swallowing copius amounts of arsebiscuits but unfortunately the queen wasn't happy with his workrate and moved her arse away, turning around and looking straight at him with anger and disgust, she screeched in an outraged tone, “Hurry up Muck you disgusting creature, if you are to be a proper 'Arse Licking-Lizzy' it means you will do anything for promotion. I don't have all day to wait for a pathetic peasant like you to clean me. If I have to tell a brown noser like you who has licked so much arse to get a title like Lord Muck of Londonderry, with all that shit on your nose, while you stink of shit, to hurry up again, I will have you hung up by your tiny nuts in the courtyard and seriously whipped.” She then called over one of her pretty maids and told her to start slapping Lord Muck's face as hard as she could, to remind to Lord Muck to perform his arse cleaning job faster.
The young maid with an evil smile, said with great joy, “with pleasure your majesty” as she started to slap the sides of his face with venom. Lord Muck couldn't do anything to protect himself from the unrelenting blows but just groan in pain as each slap caught him painfully on the sides of his face, making his eyes water as his cheeks burned while he was slapped over and over. He had been arselicking so long, he realized begging the queen for mercy would result in even more punishment and the queen was not for giving any mercy to either castles catholics or slaves with poo on their nose from Londonderry.So with a stinging face of pain he had no choice but to take his medicine of relentless blows until the queen said stop, as he was now only half conscious,
“Now you stupid shit sucking creature, if you don't put more effort into it, then I will have you whipped to an inch of your life” and with that she leaned over again, placing her half cleaned arsehole in front of his out streached tongue. He frantically started licking her again, as fast as he could. He licked so much to get the job done, that he started to have even more shit on his nose and they stank of shit too.The smell and taste of the queens dirty arsehole was still almost unbearable but the fear of upsetting his queen made him lick, even as his tongue was throbbing in pain. However a lifetimes habit of brown nosing in British Occupied Ireland, made him persevere with licking and swallowing every arsebiscuit of the queen's filthy dirty arse, until she was fully satisfied, so she then stood up and stepped off her foot rest slave, onto the floor as her maids let down her dress down.
The queen turned around looking down at her footrest slave, who was lifting himself back up on his hands and knees to crawl behind her but he didn't get up fast enough for the queen, so she ordered the pretty maid who had slapped Lord Muck the royal arselicker into semi-consciousness just moments ago, to kick the footrest slave as he lay on the ground, as hard as she could. The young maid had another evil smile as she proceeded to kick the side of the slave with such force, that it made him cry out in agony. Lord Muck was certain he heard the footrest slave's ribs crack, as the malicious maid's boots hit him with all the force she had. However his lifetime's habits and his own problems mean't he really did not care very much, as he'd learnt himself as a young butcher in Londonderry, it was every slave for himself in the castle of his brit queen.
In fact he learned very young that when London was added to his Irish city's name of Derry, that it had created a vicious city of arse lickery and that when he himself began arse licking a bowler hatted orangeman, who then began to arse lick another, it provoked further arse licking. The result was a tear in the fabric of Irish space and time and the circle became large enough to be known as the UK city of culture in 2013. It was Lord Muck's creation and he enjoyed it so much, that he once exclaimed. I say our fella, I love hanging around with these sectarian orangemen so much, they think I'm a god. I better hang around with them some more, so they worship me more than their queen. An Orangeman who overheard him said to his colleague: "Lord Muck is so pucker, hanging round with us proddy plebs in our Orange free state, we better keep worshipping him so he doesn't leave us. Oh the shame, we have created a city circle of arse lickery and now the universe and empire as we have always known it will cease to exist."
The queen who had been made aware of all of this by her MI5 secret agents, felt she had left this would be secret hand shaker under no illusions about her court's protocol,secret photographs, handshakes or not this queen was not for moving or changing centuries of royal protocol.
Muck you arrogant buffoon have now learned !
1. Lower your head,
2 Place your hands on the sides of your skirt and gently hold it out sideways. If your dress is too narrow, hold your hands out at your sides, palms upward.
3 Extend your right foot behind the left, only a few inches so your right knee is slightly bent.
4 Bend your knees outward, rather than forward, and bow your head and shoulders slightly forward.
5 Gracefully bring yourself back to your original position.
She smirked with satisfaction as she now walked to the door followed closely behind again by her maids, while crawling behind in their rightful place on hands and knees were her slaves. Lord Muck watched the poor footrest slave struggling to keep up but due to his now broken ribs. Unfortunately for him the queen turned around, looked down at the pitiful human being, desperately trying to keep up and looking directly at Lord Muck of Londonderry barked out, “PSSNI ! Take this useless creature down to my dungeon where it belongs”. The PSNI who were standing outside came in and dragged the helpless slave who was begging in vain for mercy, away to start a new life of being shat on, in cold solitary confinement in a rotten royal dungeon by ladies of the queen's castle on her majesty's pleasure. The queen's entourage left the toilet, leaving him there once again in his newly created reality with a face still stinging and the taste of queen's arsebiscuits in his gobshite, which now started to dribble out of the side of his mouth. Lord Muck had now evolved from a firm handshake to a society of arse-licking people so far up each others arses that he was permanently entangled in a pretzel formation all filed of course under her Official Secret's Act !
The enquiry in England is not whether a man has talents, genius, but whether he is passive, polite, a virtuous ass, obedient to noblemen's opinions in art, science. If he is, he is a good man. If not, he must be starved - William Blake
Security took Lord Muck up to the ladies quarters and led him to a small dark room, with a hole at the end of which they then forced his head through, so that only his head was sticking out the other side. As soon as Lord Muck's head was though the hole, the brits then released a heavy piece of timber down round his neck, so there was no way Lord Muck could take his head out again and he was now trapped on the other side of the wall. The Queen's security then walked away leaving him there in pain from the whipping, to look around the new prison he created as a result of a lifetime of arselicking which he was now trapped in. He noticed his head was almost directly over the ladies toilet hole, so he would have to stare at the arses of the Queen's ladies on the toilet, as they dropped shit and piss down below, with his mouth and nose just millimeters from their arses. He could barely hear voices begging for mercy from far below in the toilet hole, which sounded like the poor slaves, forced to spend their miserable lives imprisoned, cold, hungry and covered in shit, in the darkness of a dungeon below, while he would lick arses clean, sitting comfortably on a toilet seat shitting down on top of them.
He was soon interrupted by someone opening the toilet door, which was a pretty young woman who walked up to the toilet. She had a rich silk dress with gemstones and blond hair braided, making a crown on the top of her head. She lifted up her long dress and pulled down her knickers and sat in front of Lord Muck's face and shat. The weak cries of the slaves started again from far below, as shit was landing right on top of them. The smell of shit from her arse made him slightly sick and he was sickened realizing it wouldn't be long now, before he would be forced to lick clean her dirty, filthy arse. She lifted herself off the seat and bent over directly in front of his mouth and moved her filthy arsehole to his tongue that now protruded. His lifetime's habit of arselicking had led him to the point of no choice but to put his tongue between her arse and lick the foul tasting shit around her arsehole, which was now directly on top of his face.
The arsebiscuits he licked out, initially forced him to swallow and made him start gagging but he forced it down knowing he would be unmercifully whipped, if she caught him spitting it out. He licked her clean for what seemed like for ever, until she was fully satisfied that he did his job properly.She stood up, pulled her knickers back up, fixed her dress and then arrogantly walked out of the toilet door leaving Lord Muck with his head locked though the wall, with a horrible smell of the young woman's shit, still in his nostrils with the awful taste of her shit still inside his mouth unable to wash it out. The unfortunate Lord Muck had hardly any time to recover, as he watched the toilet door loudly swing open and there in the doorway, in a long velvet dress, with a gold crown was the queen herself. She walked into the room followed behind by two ladies in waiting and crawling further behind them on their hands and knees naked, except for a small white loincloth, with whip marks on both their backs were two pathetic starved slaves. The queen walked up to the toilet, turned around as her two maids lifted up her long dress, so she could sit on the toilet. She ordered one of her slaves to lie down at her feet, so she could use him as a footrest, as she sat on the toilet to relieve herself. Once again faint groans started up from slaves locked down in the dungeon, as they begged for mercy in vain but the queen completely ignored them, as she dropped her shit and piss directly on top of their heads.
Lord Muck watched the Queen whom he had come to shake hands with on behalf of the Irish working class, sitting there, waiting for the moment she finished and would use his tongue to clean herself, very aware of her vindictive streak of enjoying a slave being whipped in front of her, so he was very careful with his well practiced lifetime of timing his arselicking correctly. He had heard about an incident of a starving slave who overcome with hunger, decided to sneak in to the royal kitchen to steal some food but he was spotted by one of the royal cooks who went and told the queen immediately. The Queen flew into a rage and decided as an example to have the slave hung up, while his feet were just off the ground in the courtyard beside the outdoor dining table, so that along with the other royal ladies, she could have entertainment while eating. She told two of her young maids to take turns whipping his bare back, until she told them to stop. She then told them that whichever of them whipped the slave the hardest, would receive gold, which unfortunately for the slave made them both try to outdo each other. After hours of whipping the poor slave with his back bleeding from relentless whipping by the young maids and his throat sore from screaming for mercy for hours, the queen finally told them to stop, while her royal companions relaxed, eating and drinking beside him at their dining table. The queen then ordered that he remain strung up by his wrists beside the dining table for the next four days, without any food or water while the queen left a whip on the table beside him, so that any of the royal females walking past in the courtyard, could whip him for entertainment, which most of them did, as they were Gotha. So the punishment that might await Lord Muck, should he not clean the queen's arse properly, sent a wave of fear though the royal arse licker's beaten Londonderry body. (to be continued)
The Queen's maid cracked her whip across Lord Muck of Londonderry's back with such force, that it made him cry out like the Derry air in agony. Red whip marks were now covering most of his back and already starting to bleed, making the cruel, arrogant Queen, who was sitting on her throne, watching his punishment, smile in satisfaction. Lord Muck was starting to have second thoughts on whether her majesty's royal arse was for kicking or for licking?. She was enjoying tormenting him in Hillsborough Castle castle in British Occupied Ireland. This former Provo who came here to shake her hand after being involved in the death of her favourite Lord, who now with votes from her commoners and Viceroy Paterson both making her pathetic commoner's lives as miserable as possible, with every slave in Occupied Ireland, living in constant fear of both of them and consequently her. She enjoyed watching Lord Muck cowering at her feet, begging her for mercy and pleading with her not to be whipped and beaten anymore.
She loved the power she had over her Irish collaborators and most of the time when she ordered Lord Muck whipped, he had just done something minor, such as not getting on his hands and knees fast enough to lick her arse or catch the fairies that flew out of her arse every day at noon !.Sometimes she left a speck of dirt on her arse which he had been ordered to clean. But even if the helpless Lord Muck had cleaned and tongue scrubbed to perfection, she would still find a reason to have him whipped, just for entertainment, which is what was happening to the poor Lord Muck right now, who had been scrubbing the Queens arse on his hands and knees, for more than 12 hours without a break, being extra careful that he had not left a speck of dirt anywhere in or on her arse. He was forced to kneel all day so the Queen couldn't find a reason to have him whipped. However later on, after a day's horse riding, foxhunting and heaven knows what else with Viceroy Paterson, she walked straight down to Lord Muck in her dirty riding boots, who seeing the state of her, desperately started licking her newly dirtied boots, as well as her extremely filthy arse when she spread her thighs again. Working with his rasping tongue as fast as he possibly could, trying to get them clean once again, before the Queen turned around and saw any dirt.
Unfortunately for Lord Muck of Londonderry he was not fast enough and she turned around and looked straight at him licking and screamed “How dare you disobey me you worthless shame fein pig, I ordered you to clean my arse spotless and look, there's dirt everywhere, and now look at the muck on the bottom of my lovely riding boots from kicking your filthy arse. She then stood up over the cowering Lord Muck, who was still on his hands and knees and screamed “Ill teach you to disobey me you filthy political worm” as she lifted one of her riding boots and rammed it on top of Lord Mucks bowed head, as hard as she could, to remove some of the muck. Then she shouted “Now you'll lick the rest of the muck from the bottom of my boots, you pathetic Stormont worm and to make sure you do a proper job, you will be whipped while you are working, until I am completely satisfied everything is clean.” She then called over her personal maid who's specific work was whipping the slaves. The maid who was young with long black hair, was a pretty, petite woman but knew exactly how to whip and cause the maximum pain and suffering, while really enjoying her job, waiting every opportunity to whip helpless slaves. She removed a whip from her belt while the queen walked over to her throne, lifting her boot up a little, just enough for Lord Muck to lick. “Hurry up, Muck” she ordered as Lord Muck frantically licked the bottom of her boots, as the whip lashed on his bare back over and over.
Lord Muck managed to lick both boots clean, while the whip relentlessly cracked on his back. Fortunately for Lord Muck the Queen fancied a drop of gin and needed to go to the dining room to get it, so she told her maid to stop. She stood up and looked down at a pathetic Lord Muck at her feet, who was writhing around the floor in agony, when she shouted arrogantly, “normally I would send you straight to one of Viceroy Paterson's dungeon”, which every slave in Hillsborough Castle feared the most. Being sent to Paterson's dungeon was one way internment without trial. Lord Muck would be forced to spend the rest of his miserable life interned in solitary confinement in a cold, dark and stinking dungeon, just like other political prisoners deep below ground, with no chance of ever being released again. To add to Lord Mucks discomfort the Queen had come up with the evil idea of building dungeons deep below all her ladies toilet hole, directly on top of the dungeon so that when she needed to use her toilets she would drop all her urne and crap all over the helpless Lord Muck trapped down below. The Queen then continued talking and said “However today is your lucky day Lord Muck as I am in need of a royal ass licker for all of my visits to British Occupied Ireland”.
The royal arse licker is a specific slave who licks clean the arse holes of all the royal household after they have taken a crap, since it is unlady like for a royal at court to clean their own arse and because there are an abundance of commoners who aspire to being arse lickers. What better way to put their tongues to good use than to lick clean the dirty royal arseholes. The previous royal arselicker licker had just been executed in her castles dungeon for a lack of respect one of her ladies. The poor bastard didn't know the lady was watching after he finished licking her arse clean and he tried to get the horrible taste of shite out of his mouth by spitting it out which was forbidden. Unfortunately for him it was a serious mistake as she spotted him do it and straight away told the Queen who after having him whipped to death threw him into a dungeon below to "rot with all the other pieces of crap down below” as the Queen put it. All of this to remain a secret under her Official Secrets Act.
The Queen told the whipped Lord Muck in front of her with a mocking voice “You were involved in killing my favourite Lord but because I am such a generous Queen, I am instead of sending you to the dungeon, willing to give you another chance and from now on you will clean all my ladies arses at court with your tongue. "You are now officially my new royal arse licker.” She then said “You should be honoured, that such a lowly Lord Muck, worthless slave like yourself, with a silly job at Stormont, where a large part of my elite, are busy giggling over your speeches and making fun of your performances, rambling on about thinking Irish republicans, while you now have the privilege to lick clean the arses of all the royal ladies at my court, who are clearly far more superior, than a pathetic, ugly political careerist creature, like yourself.” She then told security to take Lord Muck up to the ladies quarters and lock his head above the ladies toilet to start his new job, as her royal arse licker. She also told Viceroy Paterson to put out a story to the British media graduated from the school of arse-licking, sycophancy and pomposity, more formally known as the British Orifice Licking Laboratory Officially Communicating Kinetic Shite (BOLLOCKS for short) that Lord Muck had been lost or possibly accidentally shredded.....(to be continued)
“Things got out of hand we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.” Eton College born to rule brat David Cameron, 1986.
“The looting and arson last night were criminality, pure and simple. Justice will be done and the people will see the consequences for their crimes”
Tory Prime Minister of UK David Cameron, 2011
Because of the discovery of SEVEN THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED TONS of radioactive material buried in and around the Olympic Stadium in London 2012 the Queen of England in a conference call, has asked for advice from Lord Muck of Londonderry, whom she is due to meet shortly at Stormont, the sectarian Parliament for a sectarian people in British Occupied Ireland. He did not after all become Lord Muck without good reason. So let's back up a little to remind ourselves just exactly how he earned his title.
The Groom of the Stool is normally an English groom or a male servant, who has the job of cleaning the Queen or King's arse, after a bowel movement. When the Queen goes on State visits overseas, sometimes the Groom of the Stool goes with her, on other occasions the honour falls to some selected individual, who can be absolutely trusted and cleared by all of Britain's secret services after stringent security checks. A gentleman with the nickname of Muck Guinness who has served as the Queen's Praetorian guard in Ireland for many decades, during the troubles, was chosen for the role, on the Queen's state visit to the Irish free state, before he became a Presidential candidate in the neo-colonial state last year.
Over the centuries the role of Groom of the Stool, has evolved into licking the Royal's arse, after they discovered a pleasurable sensation, when the Groom of the Stool acquired the art of what is contemporarily known as rimming. Henry VIII had Sir Henry Norreys, a Groom of the Stool executed, because he went a bit far performing his duties, on every orrifice of the King's wife's body, a woman who became Queen, otherwise known by the name of Ann Boylan who was from Ireland. Henry had her name changed to Ann Boleyn, because she worked as a prostitute in Laurencetown in County Galway and preferred the services of the groom's tongue to Henry's.
After the Ann Boylan episode and the execution, Henry VIII's awarded the title Groom of the Stool, to a minion of the King, who licked, along with other court companions and kept an eye on each other for the King, as they attended to the King whenever he had a bowel movement. They also carried out a variety of other tasks within his private rooms but this has been censored by Indymedia Ireland. The position of Groom of the Stool was especially prized, as it allowed unobstructed access to the Royal's attention with intimate favours like Lord Muck currently.
A list below of those who have worked as Groom of the Stool in the British Royal Household, with the exception of the present incumbent, whose official name remains a closely guarded secret under the British Official Secrets Act but may have connections to Indymedia Ireland. However Muck Guinness has officially been chosen as trusted Groom of the Stool, to lick the Queen's arse during her forthcoming Irish visit to British Occupied Ireland. He is believed to have served his apprenticeship in this role, with various other officials from the other Palace along the Thames and is believed to have swallowed a considerable amount of endangered Royal faeces and urine already.
Queen Elizabeth is believed to poo sparingly except after gin binges and she has been taking elocution lessons for her forthcoming Stormont Irish trip, which will include her asking questions like, "Oi! where's the Bog, Muck?" "Come on our fella give us a lick !" or "Pog Mo Shon Galla, oinseach" in a north of Ireland accent. Bog is the English version of her potty.POg Mo Shon is Gaelic for Lick my Arse ! It is believed that she will travel to Ireland with her own toilet seat, so that her Royal Arse does not touch the same seat, as the arses of her loyal Irish commoners or her west Brit peasants not to be confused with citizens of the Irish free state, won for citizens north and south of the border with considerable sacrifice. It is believed that Muck Guinness has unclogged the septic's of hundreds of commoners from the other palace on the Thames, before scrounging for arse biscuits, behind the Windsor's.
Originally the title Groom of the Stool referred to the arselicker or whoever served in that royal capacity. So for example the Muck Guinness title would become Queen Lizzie's Arselicker as well as Chief of Staff.. Later it referred to the long trailing robe of the Queen from the Latin stola, which Muck Guinness would be obliged to carry around British Occupied Ireland after the Queen's visit. It is believed that Muck Guinness as holder of the position during the forthcoming Queen's visit, will become a senior Lord of the Bedchamber or Prince-consort of the Queen's Man of the Robes, when he will be officially become known as Lord Muck of Londonderry.
Lord Muck we have learned has advised the Queen to sell the SEVEN THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED TONS of radioactive dirt to Iran, whom MI6 claim are trying to build an atomic bomb, There is enough radioactive dirt, disturbed because of Olympic excavations in east London, to enable the Iranians to build 500 atomic bombs.Lord Muck has then advised the Queen with true Muck treachery, that as soon as they have moved the considerable quantities of radioactive dirt, to inform the Israeli's of the arrangement, so that they can nuke Iran immediately. So its Goodnight Tehran, hello a nuclear free Olympic Games.
Lord Muck has further advised his Queen, to enlist the services of both BP petroleum and DOW Chemicals with the subsequent clean up-operation. Both British companies who are already Olympic sponsors, have considerable experience after BP almost wiped out single handedly, the natural environment of North America from Alaska to the Gulf with oil spills, while DOW has walked away from wiping out thousands of Indians with chemical explosions. Both have acquired considerable cover-up experience and greenwashing tactics as official sponsors for the Games. So we can expect plenty of muck and excitement for the games, with nuclear explosions, poverty riots and human right protests, at what has already become known as the Scum Olympics of London 2012.
Lord Muck has been preceded by the following;
Grooms of the Stool to Charles II
1660: William Seymour, 1st Marquess of Hertford
1660–1685: Sir John Granville
Grooms of the Stool to James II
1685–1688: Henry Mordaunt, 2nd Earl of Peterborough
Grooms of the Stool to William III
1689–1700: Baron Hans Bentinck
1700–1702: Henry Sydney, 1st Earl of Romney
Grooms of the Stool to Queen Anne
1702–1711: Sarah Churchill, Countess of Marlborough
1711–1714: Elizabeth Seymour, Duchess of Somerset
Grooms of the Stool to Prince George
1683–1697: John Berkeley, 3rd Baron Berkeley of Stratton
1702–1704: Henry Sydney, 1st Earl of Romney
Grooms of the Stool to George I
1714–1719: Lionel Sackville, 1st Duke of Dorset
1719–1722: Charles Spencer, 3rd Earl of Sunderland
1723–1727: Francis Godolphin, 2nd Earl of Godolphin
Grooms of the Stool to George II
1727–1735: Francis Godolphin, 2nd Earl of Godolphin
1735–1751: Henry Herbert, 9th Earl of Pembroke
1751–1755: Willem Anne van Keppel, 2nd Earl of Albemarle
1755–1760: William Nassau de Zuylestein, 4th Earl of Rochford
Grooms of the Stool to George III
1760–1761: John Stuart, 3rd Earl of Bute
1761–1770: Francis Hastings, 10th Earl of Huntingdon
1770–1775: George Hervey, 2nd Earl of Bristol
1775–1782: John Ashburnham, 2nd Earl of Ashburnham
1782–1796: Thomas Thynne, 3rd Viscount Weymouth
1796–1804: John Ker, 3rd Duke of Roxburghe
1804–1812: George Finch, 9th Earl of Winchilsea
1812–1820: Charles Paulet, 13th Marquess of Winchester
Grooms of the Stool to George IV
1820–1830: Charles Paulet, 13th Marquess of Winchester
Grooms of the Stool to William IV
1830–1837: Charles Paulet, 13th Marquess of Winchester
Grooms of the Stool to Prince Albert
1840–1841: Lord Robert Grosvenor
1841–1846: Brownlow Cecil, 2nd Marquess of Exeter
1846–1859: James Hamilton, 1st Duke of Abercorn
1859–1861: John Spencer, 5th Earl Spencer
Grooms of the Stool to The Prince of Wales
1862–1866: John Spencer, 5th Earl Spencer
1877–1883: Sir William Knollys
1883–1901: James Hamilton, 2nd Duke of Abercorn
P.S. if you do attend or participate in the games please bring a radiation suit as being roasted alive is no laughing matter. Please reshare or pass this on to your friends as there is already a huge cover up and censorship operation in place!
